So things in the wedding arena are going well. My dress debacle seems to be taken care of. My mom's and friend Nicole went with me this weekend to see about swapping the dress for a different size. I put the dress that was ordered for me on and it looks so pretty (minus my flabby arms). The dress was a mess though, there was a lipstick stain on the top, beading falling off and the train was ripped not on the hem! So regardless, I would've sent that dress back for a new one. It was a bit of a disappointment to see that they would send a dress in that condition for a bride. But, the manager was really nice to me about size swapping for a size that I am not and it was a pretty smooth process. I just need to make sure I don't dip below a certain weight level though because we ordered a size 16 and the dress can only be altered and look good to a size 12. Thankfully, the dress is small, so a 12 would really be like a 10 and even when I was thin, I wasn't a size 10.
We had some really great news last week. We kept having a hard time tracking down a minister/officiate who would be able to do the wedding. The people I called were either retired or wouldn't work on NYE. Well, I had this idea to contact the minister who married my brother and his wife - thankfully they were cool with me using the same minister.. I just think that could be so cool, to work that into the wedding somehow. Anyway, I contacted her, and she agreed to do the wedding!!!! :) I'm really pumped. I don't even know how much she costs, I just know I want her to do the wedding because it would mean so much to me and to my big brother too!
So, the diet thing is going OK. This past week was a little difficult but whatever. I just felt bad eating some of the things I ate. I stayed within my points range for most days (used flex points 1 night) but I just ate crap and that makes me feel bad. I wonder when my brain will start wanting cucumbers instead of cheesepuffs? How about eating an orange instead of that 1 point scoop of ice cream? I really need to start thinking that way, because only then, will I survive on this lifestyle change. If I don't survive, I'll just end up right back where I was 2 months ago and I never want to see that person again.
The kickboxing place is going awesome. Tonight is the fitness test. I'm a little nervous about that but I think that I am pretty strong. I know I can do more situps and pushups than some of the people there. That's encouraging.
K, off to go workout and get this weekend weight off me.
L.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
getting back into it
Alright, so I have NOT been diligent about posting new threads to this! Man, keeping up a blog is hard work. Like, when am I supposed to find time to write when I'm working 9-10 hour days, running home, making dinner, working out, and then chilling out. Whew! Hopefully when I'm thinner I won't have to work out as crazy as I have been. I hope there comes a point when I'm just doing a 30 minute a day workout to maintain. I wonder if that's possible?
We had our second weight watchers meeting today and I lost a grand total of 4.6 lbs in week one! Excellent if i do say so myself. I would've loved to have hit the 5lb mark and got a gold star in the meeting, but there is always next week to accomplish such goals. It's just not as impressive week 2 since I'm sure a bunch of people will have hit 5lbs week 2. BUT, between me and one other lady, we made up 1/4 of the weight loss for the whole group (about 18 people!) That's pretty impressive! :)
Here's a funny story about my wedding dress and let's hope Matt never stumbles upon this blog and reads about this. DISCLAIMER: Matt, if you are reading this, spoiler alert!!! You are about to read about my dress. Alright, now that I've done my due diligence on keeping matt's nose out of here, let me tell you about what happened. So, TLC has this TV show called Four Weddings. It's about 4 ladies who are getting married. They attend each others weddings and then rate those weddings based on food, entertainment and overall experience. Kind of a lame show but at least you get to see cool centerpieces and maybe a neat idea or two. Anyway, back to the story. I'm watching the show and Matt walks in and starts watching with me. One of the brides shows up on the TV and she is wearing MY DRESS!!! My dress to a tee!! I couldn't believe it. I wanted to jump up and down and scream out, THAT'S MY FREAKIN DRESS!!! IT LOOKS AMAZING!!! But, Matt was there, so I pretended to yawn while my mouth was just open in awe. Matt looks at me while I'm fake yawning and said, "is that what your dress looks like"? The odds... really? You have to ask that question when the girl on the TV is wearing my actual dress!?! I responded with a shake of my head and said, no, not at all. HAHAHA. Thankfully, Matt replied by saying that the dress was really pretty. PHEW! If he had said, that dress is terrible I would have probably cried. :) I cannot wait to tell him about that on our wedding day. Knowing Matt, he'll remember the exact moment and think that it's hilarious.
Well, I'm going to sign off for now. Tonight I'm signing up for the martial arts studio, I'm super pumped about that. I'll let you know how tonight goes there!!
L.
We had our second weight watchers meeting today and I lost a grand total of 4.6 lbs in week one! Excellent if i do say so myself. I would've loved to have hit the 5lb mark and got a gold star in the meeting, but there is always next week to accomplish such goals. It's just not as impressive week 2 since I'm sure a bunch of people will have hit 5lbs week 2. BUT, between me and one other lady, we made up 1/4 of the weight loss for the whole group (about 18 people!) That's pretty impressive! :)
Here's a funny story about my wedding dress and let's hope Matt never stumbles upon this blog and reads about this. DISCLAIMER: Matt, if you are reading this, spoiler alert!!! You are about to read about my dress. Alright, now that I've done my due diligence on keeping matt's nose out of here, let me tell you about what happened. So, TLC has this TV show called Four Weddings. It's about 4 ladies who are getting married. They attend each others weddings and then rate those weddings based on food, entertainment and overall experience. Kind of a lame show but at least you get to see cool centerpieces and maybe a neat idea or two. Anyway, back to the story. I'm watching the show and Matt walks in and starts watching with me. One of the brides shows up on the TV and she is wearing MY DRESS!!! My dress to a tee!! I couldn't believe it. I wanted to jump up and down and scream out, THAT'S MY FREAKIN DRESS!!! IT LOOKS AMAZING!!! But, Matt was there, so I pretended to yawn while my mouth was just open in awe. Matt looks at me while I'm fake yawning and said, "is that what your dress looks like"? The odds... really? You have to ask that question when the girl on the TV is wearing my actual dress!?! I responded with a shake of my head and said, no, not at all. HAHAHA. Thankfully, Matt replied by saying that the dress was really pretty. PHEW! If he had said, that dress is terrible I would have probably cried. :) I cannot wait to tell him about that on our wedding day. Knowing Matt, he'll remember the exact moment and think that it's hilarious.
Well, I'm going to sign off for now. Tonight I'm signing up for the martial arts studio, I'm super pumped about that. I'll let you know how tonight goes there!!
L.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
exciting weekend
Alright, so I took an extended break from writing, I'm really sorry. This past weekend was just really busy and I didn't feel like writing until now. :)
Weight Watchers weigh in is in less than 2 hours and I'm a little nervous. I feel like nothing has happened to my body in 2 weeks or so. I feel the same. Hopefully it's just a fluke and things start picking up again. I haven't been eating the best I could be but now that I found a wedding dress, I really have something to strive for. That's right, you read correctly, I found a wedding dress! :) We went this weekend to start looking and I just fell in love with this dress. It was in my price range and it was so perfect. It's strapless so I really need to start working on toning up my arms. It's Ivory and has rouching at the top and then a ballroom skirt. There is some bling on the drop waist and then lots of bling on the train (when it's bustled it looks AMAZING). I think it looks really wintery which is perfect since my wedding is on NYE! :) I'm really excited now. I mean, booking a hall and all that jazz was cool but when you find that one dress that you simply love, it puts everything into perspective. You can finally envision yourself walking down the isle heading to that one man that you are vowing to live with and love forever. freaky but sooo cool.
So, now we are onto more simple tasks like meeting with a linen lady on Wednesday and working on the prototype centerpiece so that the mom's have something to work on and get their hands dirty with :)
I really wish I could snap my fingers and it be November so I could see how much progress I have made! I just want time to speed up just this once because I am just sooo excited. I hope I make the most beautiful and low key bride ever. I wonder if there has even been such a thing? Is it possible to not get worked up on your wedding day? I hope so.
Any good recipes out there that I should know about? Has anyone seen that movie Food Inc? Seriously.... It made me sick to my stomach. I NEVER want to shop at the grocery store ever again. We will only be buying organic free range meats and shopping local as often as possible. If you haven't seen that documentary, check it out - you'll never think the same about the food you're eating again.
Alright, I'll check in tomorrow and let you know how the WW weigh in goes!
L.
Weight Watchers weigh in is in less than 2 hours and I'm a little nervous. I feel like nothing has happened to my body in 2 weeks or so. I feel the same. Hopefully it's just a fluke and things start picking up again. I haven't been eating the best I could be but now that I found a wedding dress, I really have something to strive for. That's right, you read correctly, I found a wedding dress! :) We went this weekend to start looking and I just fell in love with this dress. It was in my price range and it was so perfect. It's strapless so I really need to start working on toning up my arms. It's Ivory and has rouching at the top and then a ballroom skirt. There is some bling on the drop waist and then lots of bling on the train (when it's bustled it looks AMAZING). I think it looks really wintery which is perfect since my wedding is on NYE! :) I'm really excited now. I mean, booking a hall and all that jazz was cool but when you find that one dress that you simply love, it puts everything into perspective. You can finally envision yourself walking down the isle heading to that one man that you are vowing to live with and love forever. freaky but sooo cool.
So, now we are onto more simple tasks like meeting with a linen lady on Wednesday and working on the prototype centerpiece so that the mom's have something to work on and get their hands dirty with :)
I really wish I could snap my fingers and it be November so I could see how much progress I have made! I just want time to speed up just this once because I am just sooo excited. I hope I make the most beautiful and low key bride ever. I wonder if there has even been such a thing? Is it possible to not get worked up on your wedding day? I hope so.
Any good recipes out there that I should know about? Has anyone seen that movie Food Inc? Seriously.... It made me sick to my stomach. I NEVER want to shop at the grocery store ever again. We will only be buying organic free range meats and shopping local as often as possible. If you haven't seen that documentary, check it out - you'll never think the same about the food you're eating again.
Alright, I'll check in tomorrow and let you know how the WW weigh in goes!
L.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Hurting today...
My legs hurt. My arms hurt. But I feel so freakin good on the inside. Honestly, I think that when you work out and start getting in shape, it must send something to your brain that tells you to feel happy or something! I walk with a little more confidence and I look at myself with a little bit more love. It's hard, to look at yourself in the mirror - when you're standing there naked and love every piece of yourself. You should try it. Next time you are heading to take a shower, actually look at yourself - it's really hard but i find it encouraging. I can see changes taking place and maybe you will too if you open your eyes and actually start loving your body for what you are right now.
Where do you go buy a corset?? The first place that comes to my mind is Frederick's of Hollywood - but I don't know if you wear like a sexy time corset for a wedding or if there are others that you buy??? :)
I made the best Chili last night for dinner and when I factored the points for it, it was like 7 points for a HUGE bowl of it. Here's what I did:
20 oz's of meat (I used venison since I have an abundance of it in the freezer)
(2) 25 oz cans of tomatoes (1 crushed & 1 diced)
1 jar of salsa
3 cans of beans (kidney, pinto & black)
3 tbs chilli powder (though I don't really know since I eyeball it)
1 tbs cumin powder (though I don't really know since I eyeball it)
few dashes of salt
few dashes of cayenne pepper
4 cloves of garlic
1 tbs onion powder
I just simmered everything on the stove for an hour and ate. YUM.
I decided on my wedding colors finally. We're going with Black, white, silver & red. I was nervous about the white because my dress probably won't be white since I look like an idiot in white but our reception hall provides us with tableclothes & napkins in white. We're going to have red runners on top of the white tableclothes and then a black sheer overlay on top of that. Then we're going to have white chair covers with black sashes. The silver will come in with centerpieces and decorations. I'm still struggling on what to do for decorations. It'll be more cost effective to make the centerpieces ourselves and since my mom is so crafty, she'll totally be a big help. I just don't know what to do. Vases with Christmas bulbs? Vases with floating candles? Vases with twigs coming out, spraypainted silver with ornaments hanging from them?? I really like that idea but I have no clue where to start. A family friend said a really cool idea would be to have my nieces and nephews work on little snowflake cutouts on red, black & silver tissue paper and hang them from the little branches. They would give the kids a piece of my wedding and also the pieces would create motion and substance to the centerpieces. I really like that idea ;) What do you guys think?
Anyway, today I plan on running on my lunch hour. My goal is to run for 7 minutes straight at a 4.5 speed. I'll walk for 7 minutes and then repeat. What are you doing? Share with me any cool workout ideas or yummy natural recipes!
Where do you go buy a corset?? The first place that comes to my mind is Frederick's of Hollywood - but I don't know if you wear like a sexy time corset for a wedding or if there are others that you buy??? :)
I made the best Chili last night for dinner and when I factored the points for it, it was like 7 points for a HUGE bowl of it. Here's what I did:
20 oz's of meat (I used venison since I have an abundance of it in the freezer)
(2) 25 oz cans of tomatoes (1 crushed & 1 diced)
1 jar of salsa
3 cans of beans (kidney, pinto & black)
3 tbs chilli powder (though I don't really know since I eyeball it)
1 tbs cumin powder (though I don't really know since I eyeball it)
few dashes of salt
few dashes of cayenne pepper
4 cloves of garlic
1 tbs onion powder
I just simmered everything on the stove for an hour and ate. YUM.
I decided on my wedding colors finally. We're going with Black, white, silver & red. I was nervous about the white because my dress probably won't be white since I look like an idiot in white but our reception hall provides us with tableclothes & napkins in white. We're going to have red runners on top of the white tableclothes and then a black sheer overlay on top of that. Then we're going to have white chair covers with black sashes. The silver will come in with centerpieces and decorations. I'm still struggling on what to do for decorations. It'll be more cost effective to make the centerpieces ourselves and since my mom is so crafty, she'll totally be a big help. I just don't know what to do. Vases with Christmas bulbs? Vases with floating candles? Vases with twigs coming out, spraypainted silver with ornaments hanging from them?? I really like that idea but I have no clue where to start. A family friend said a really cool idea would be to have my nieces and nephews work on little snowflake cutouts on red, black & silver tissue paper and hang them from the little branches. They would give the kids a piece of my wedding and also the pieces would create motion and substance to the centerpieces. I really like that idea ;) What do you guys think?
Anyway, today I plan on running on my lunch hour. My goal is to run for 7 minutes straight at a 4.5 speed. I'll walk for 7 minutes and then repeat. What are you doing? Share with me any cool workout ideas or yummy natural recipes!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
random thoughts
Well, today has actually been a good day. I was late to work, ate golden grams without milk on my way to work, registered for weight watchers with half of my company, worked out for a half hour, missed lunch, ate some chips and salsa, ate a mini York peppermint patty, ate some popcorn, smelled paint fumes from the maintenance guy painting in my department, going to the chiropractor, going to strength training at the martial arts place, eating some jambalaya, going to bed :)
No really, today was good minus the chips and salsa and the peppermint patty. I am really sore from last nights kickboxing experience. I woke muscles up in my legs & arms that must've been asleep for 10 years. I guess I'm trying to murder my muscles by going to strength training tonight. oy.
I was able to find some time to find gowns on-line at the shop we're heading to on Sunday that I wouldn't mind trying on. I actually found 9 that I wouldn't mind looking at! I ponder if I need to buy a corset or something? Whenever I watch that show, say yes to the dress, girls are always wearing corsets. I'm really nervous. Shopping for the dress that I'll get married in. It's so exciting but really scary! One dress... One dress that represents me and my day. :)
Well, I am going to sign off for now, these paint fumes are really taking a toll on my brain cells.
No really, today was good minus the chips and salsa and the peppermint patty. I am really sore from last nights kickboxing experience. I woke muscles up in my legs & arms that must've been asleep for 10 years. I guess I'm trying to murder my muscles by going to strength training tonight. oy.
I was able to find some time to find gowns on-line at the shop we're heading to on Sunday that I wouldn't mind trying on. I actually found 9 that I wouldn't mind looking at! I ponder if I need to buy a corset or something? Whenever I watch that show, say yes to the dress, girls are always wearing corsets. I'm really nervous. Shopping for the dress that I'll get married in. It's so exciting but really scary! One dress... One dress that represents me and my day. :)
Well, I am going to sign off for now, these paint fumes are really taking a toll on my brain cells.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Kickboxing... ME???
So, my friend Nicole has been asking me to join her at this martial arts studio for kickboxing, strength training, etc... Honestly, the idea scared the crap out of me. I'm fat - how can I stand in front of a mirror and watch myself kickbox in front of others? Well, the persistence of a very good friend and me promising to myself and you that I am going to try my hardest got me to go to my first cardio kickboxing class ever in my life tonight.
It... Kicked... My... Ass... But it felt soooo good afterward! :) Honestly, it was one of the hardest workouts I have ever done in my life, but I did it and I looked at myself in the mirror and I conquered my fear. Now, I want more. hahaha. Who knew! What makes it even better is that I got to do the class with a friend and I never, not once, felt as if anyone was judging me. In fact, I felt encouraged!
Tomorrow marks the beginning of weight watchers at work. For the next 16 weeks I'll be counting points. Fingers crossed!! :)
Did I mention I'm going to go look at dresses this weekend? I'm really excited but obviously I'm having some anxiety since I had a dream last night that I couldn't fit into a dress and then walked out in front of everyone in this really short ill fitting dress that came about 5 inches above my knee. HAHAHA. I saw a dress that I really love online that I'm going to try on. I wonder if I'll love it on me as much as I love it online? It's strapless which scares the crap out of me... who wants the little fat roll by your armpit rolling over the dress??? Maybe by December 31 I won't have that little fat roll anymore though!
Alright, I think I'll finish watching 24 and try to relax from my heart pumping kickboxing class. I'd like to thank my friend Nicole for pushing me to get there - she's amazing and I love her like crazy. Good night all. More tomorrow.
L.
It... Kicked... My... Ass... But it felt soooo good afterward! :) Honestly, it was one of the hardest workouts I have ever done in my life, but I did it and I looked at myself in the mirror and I conquered my fear. Now, I want more. hahaha. Who knew! What makes it even better is that I got to do the class with a friend and I never, not once, felt as if anyone was judging me. In fact, I felt encouraged!
Tomorrow marks the beginning of weight watchers at work. For the next 16 weeks I'll be counting points. Fingers crossed!! :)
Did I mention I'm going to go look at dresses this weekend? I'm really excited but obviously I'm having some anxiety since I had a dream last night that I couldn't fit into a dress and then walked out in front of everyone in this really short ill fitting dress that came about 5 inches above my knee. HAHAHA. I saw a dress that I really love online that I'm going to try on. I wonder if I'll love it on me as much as I love it online? It's strapless which scares the crap out of me... who wants the little fat roll by your armpit rolling over the dress??? Maybe by December 31 I won't have that little fat roll anymore though!
Alright, I think I'll finish watching 24 and try to relax from my heart pumping kickboxing class. I'd like to thank my friend Nicole for pushing me to get there - she's amazing and I love her like crazy. Good night all. More tomorrow.
L.
Today is a new day!
Today is the first day I will share with the world my issues with being overweight and getting married. I will first give you a little history about who I am and why I started this blog in the first place.
My name is Laura and I was born and raised in Michigan. I was a skinny little kid - cute as a button. The summer between my 6th & 7th grade years though, I developed something along the lines of pubescent epilepsy. I suffered from seizures that affected the right side of my face, thought process and vocal cords. I was doped up tons of epileptic drugs that beefed me up to a hefty 225 pounds in 3 months. TWO HUNDRED and TWENTY FIVE pounds. Can you imagine being in the 7th grade weighing over 200 lbs? It was torture. I hated everything about myself. I weighed over 200 until 9th grade. That summer, I starved myself. I got myself down to 150 and for the first time in 2 years, thought something of myself. I got off the drugs my 9th grade year and haven't had a seizure since.
I went to college and slowly started gaining some of that weight back. When I graduated, I weighed just over 200. I met the man of my dreams shortly after I graduated college and slowly started gaining even more weight. I yo-yo'd between 200-250 for the last 6 years of my life.
All of that needs to change now. That man of my dreams proposed to me this Christmas. My immediate thoughts were nothing but happiness. I found the one man I want to be with forever. We'd made it. We were going to get married. But then, I started thinking about all of the pictures and how I would avoid the camera or dress shopping and where I could even go as a size 18 to try on a freaking wedding dress? I started working out. I start most days with a nice 1.5 mile walk with the dog. I come to work and on good days, get to go to the gym at my work on my lunch. There, I either walk/run on the treadmill or use the elliptical for 30 minutes then do about 15-20 minutes of weight training. On REALLY good days, I will go home, get dinner started and get on the elliptical in the basement for another 30 minutes.
Things are going... they are slow. I've lost about 15lbs since Christmas. Okay, okay. That's a lot of weight, but when you're 250 lbs to start, that's not enough. Not for me.
So that's where this blog comes in. I need support. I need people to cheer me on and hold me accountable. Otherwise, I'll just get frustrated and want to eat that chocolate bar or 4 slices of pizza (bacon & mushroom please).
So, if you've stumbled across this blog and can look past my terrible grammar and poor writing style - stick with me. I'm going to share as much as I can... This is my story of being an overweight bride to be that is determined to be the best she can for her soon to be husband and family, but most of all, herself.
PS - today, I ran/walked 2 miles in the gym at lunch and it hurt like a bitch. BUT, I ran the fastest I'd ever run... 9 minute mile!! That's crazy. My freakin legs hurt and I could hardly breathe, but I made myself keep going :) More tomorrow.
My name is Laura and I was born and raised in Michigan. I was a skinny little kid - cute as a button. The summer between my 6th & 7th grade years though, I developed something along the lines of pubescent epilepsy. I suffered from seizures that affected the right side of my face, thought process and vocal cords. I was doped up tons of epileptic drugs that beefed me up to a hefty 225 pounds in 3 months. TWO HUNDRED and TWENTY FIVE pounds. Can you imagine being in the 7th grade weighing over 200 lbs? It was torture. I hated everything about myself. I weighed over 200 until 9th grade. That summer, I starved myself. I got myself down to 150 and for the first time in 2 years, thought something of myself. I got off the drugs my 9th grade year and haven't had a seizure since.
I went to college and slowly started gaining some of that weight back. When I graduated, I weighed just over 200. I met the man of my dreams shortly after I graduated college and slowly started gaining even more weight. I yo-yo'd between 200-250 for the last 6 years of my life.
All of that needs to change now. That man of my dreams proposed to me this Christmas. My immediate thoughts were nothing but happiness. I found the one man I want to be with forever. We'd made it. We were going to get married. But then, I started thinking about all of the pictures and how I would avoid the camera or dress shopping and where I could even go as a size 18 to try on a freaking wedding dress? I started working out. I start most days with a nice 1.5 mile walk with the dog. I come to work and on good days, get to go to the gym at my work on my lunch. There, I either walk/run on the treadmill or use the elliptical for 30 minutes then do about 15-20 minutes of weight training. On REALLY good days, I will go home, get dinner started and get on the elliptical in the basement for another 30 minutes.
Things are going... they are slow. I've lost about 15lbs since Christmas. Okay, okay. That's a lot of weight, but when you're 250 lbs to start, that's not enough. Not for me.
So that's where this blog comes in. I need support. I need people to cheer me on and hold me accountable. Otherwise, I'll just get frustrated and want to eat that chocolate bar or 4 slices of pizza (bacon & mushroom please).
So, if you've stumbled across this blog and can look past my terrible grammar and poor writing style - stick with me. I'm going to share as much as I can... This is my story of being an overweight bride to be that is determined to be the best she can for her soon to be husband and family, but most of all, herself.
PS - today, I ran/walked 2 miles in the gym at lunch and it hurt like a bitch. BUT, I ran the fastest I'd ever run... 9 minute mile!! That's crazy. My freakin legs hurt and I could hardly breathe, but I made myself keep going :) More tomorrow.
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